Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
soo... how was my night?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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