why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
