found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
