I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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