I just saw a hot homeless man
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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