Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
