i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
