I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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