On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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