Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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