My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
