i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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