it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
