Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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