i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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