I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
