If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
