i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I enjoy the company of your penis
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
