Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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