marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
from now on my penis is your penis
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
