lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you win again, gameday.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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