you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
