I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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