What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
