you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
