You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
