shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
