Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
