He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
