You can't motorboat a personality
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
