i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She bit a glass in half.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
