I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
