I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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