Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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