I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
