She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
