I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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