i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Michael Bay diarrhea
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
