I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
We had sex on a dog bed..
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
