I feel great
I just peed on a car
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
