youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
