i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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