i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
