its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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