I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
