But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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