Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
