I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
