marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
