Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
handjob tips. give me some.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
